Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
