It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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