i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
