There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
