i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
