So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize