I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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