how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize