xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
