There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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