i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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