I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This is my gift to your gina
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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