Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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