Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
