piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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