he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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