You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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