i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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