so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
