I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
