Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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