Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
