I don't think brook has ever known best
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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