is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
