no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
