If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
