last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
