Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
