I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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