You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
