I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
