It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
