the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize