You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
