Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
