somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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