Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
