Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
