After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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