Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
