apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
