Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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