I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
