i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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