Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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