She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
