What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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