New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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