i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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