Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
