Quick, to the slutcave!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
