so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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