i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize