You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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