So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
