We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
