How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Terrible idea I love it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
