Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
