the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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