Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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