omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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