woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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