I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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